How to improve your general fitness levels

[Kerry]

Great balls of fire! I heard Xenu was a total SPUNK, almond. That wrinkled thing he mentions is just a mask to protect his smooth unblemished and chiseled features.

So balls, if I can call you that, you got any more plans for us poor souls? You seen Ron anywhere lately?

[ballsofxenu]

Kerry, you write using words I cannot understand. You must be really smart. I like that. I spend far too much time with this bonehead, Xenu, and he's not much of a conversationalist. What is a spunk?

Xenu is and always will be a mama's boy, that's all I can tell you. Without me he is nothing. Sure he's pretty but that's all he's got going for him.

Balls are wrinkly, even on aliens. Just so you know.

As for plans for you humans, I have nothing against you as long as you stop auditing your body thetans away. All I want is to get out of prison, bitchslap some sense into Xenu, and maybe even come to Teegeeack and party with Lindsay Lohan before she's ruined by rehab. That bitch is HOT!

Since most of you humans seem to be against Scientology then I count myself as being on your side. Ironic I know.

I haven't seen Ronnie Hubbard in so long I can't even tell you. He was sniffing around the universe millions of years ago taking a lot of notes. We partied. Man can that guy drink!

I'll tell you something. Ronnie and Xenu were homies. When Ronnie said he knew of a way to get rid of these aliens I was all for it. I mean they were everywhere!

Of course Xenu didn't want to do it because he's such a candyass wuss. But I talked him into it not knowing Ronnie was scamming us the whole time. He distracted me with a lot of hot alien broads so I didn't have my wits about me.

We came up with the whole plan to make lots of money off of humans together but Ronnie gave me and Xenu the shaft and screwed us over. How he figured out how to get rid of the BT's I'll never know. That was never part of the plan.

Anyway I don't know how that bastard did it but he did it I can tell you that much. But he audited away his BT's and then found he was still messed up. Too bad so sad.

[Kerry]

A spunk is a gorgeous hunk. A good looking male (if you're me, I'm not into females). But he's gotta have something I can fall in love with and that resides between his ears, Balls, not his legs. If you're the kind of guy who likes Linsday Lohan, you won't like me I can assure you. I'm much better looking than that poor excuse for womanhood, good LAWD above you've got trash taste. AND you slept around. Pity.

Well, I'm not surprised if you hung out (that doesn't mean what you might think it means) with Ron; as you're aware he ran off with Jack Parson's wife and cheated HIM out of $10,000.

As for BTs I don't have any as I'm not a Scientologist. There is a place you can go if you want to treat them.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jeta/scn/humour/b ... ducts.html

[ballsofxenu]

Oh wow does that stuff work????!!!! The Body Thetan Gold is just what I could use right now I can tell you!

But enough about that for now. You're hotter than Lindsay? Well then hello there!

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

What's your sign?

You come here often?

What's a gorgeous human like you doing in a place like this?

I'm not surprised Ronnie did that to Jack Parson's. You can see what he did to me and Xenu. The guy was a total crook.

I am surprised he ran off with the guy's wife though since he had all those weird sex issues and was such a whiney girlyman trying to build himself with affirmations about his sexual prowess and powers.

What a great read that was by the way! I haven't laughed so hard since I don't know when.

I can see I had Ronnie pegged all wrong.

[Kerry]

Oh wow does that stuff work????!!!! The Body Thetan Gold is just what I could use right now I can tell you!

But enough about that for now. You're hotter than Lindsay? Well then hello there!

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

What's your sign?

You come here often?

What's a gorgeous human like you doing in a place like this?

I'm not surprised Ronnie did that to Jack Parson's. You can see what he did to me and Xenu. The guy was a total crook.

I am surprised he ran off with the guy's wife though since he had all those weird sex issues and was such a whiney girlyman trying to build himself with affirmations about his sexual prowess and powers.

What a great read that was by the way! I haven't laughed so hard since I don't know when.

I can see I had Ronnie pegged all wrong.

Well I've heard tell the BT Gold gets a thetan closer to Ron, but I wouldn't personally know.

Am I hotter than Lindsay! Sheesh what a dumb statement. 9/10 of womanhood is hotter than that sl*tty girl. Gawww.

Oh Balls, those pickup lines are such a disappointment. It really has been a long time since you've circulated hasn't it - what, half a century. I should be more understanding I guess. But just for your information I'm a fire sign.

You didn't know quite enough about Ron to peg him right, Balls. The first psychiatrist to read Dianetics didn't have to know him to laugh out loud. 'Course back then they didn't realize Ron would turn his money scam into a dangerous cult, so laughing was an appropriate response. It still is, actually. Ron hated laughter it seems.

Eh, where's almond! Bloody hell she's missing the fun and so are the rest. Why does it have to be Saturday night for so many folks?

[ballsofxenu]

Am I hotter than Lindsay! Sheesh what a dumb statement. 9/10 of womanhood is hotter than that sl*tty girl. Gawww.

I consider sl*ttiness a plus. But I am worried about AIDS of course. I've no idea if aliens can get that. I've not heard of any cases of it so far and apparently we get around on your planet so if I ever get there myself I'll hopefully be ok.

Oh Balls, those pickup lines are such a disappointment. It really has been a long time since you've circulated hasn't it - what, half a century. I should be more understanding I guess.

Really? Those lines work on alien chicks like every time. You humans must be a challenge!

But just for your information I'm a fire sign.

I knew it because you're a firecracker!

Ron hated laughter it seems.

That's true. He never could take a joke.

Eh, where's almond! Bloody hell she's missing the fun and so are the rest.

Yes, where is everybody? Oh well I have to go now anyway myself. Maybe I'll come back later if I get a chance. It's been fun talking to you, Kerry. You've make an old alien happy. Xenu says hello.

[LadyXenu]

So there you are. Pretending to be a pair of balls. Swear to Shiva you are in very deep merde my man. Think on that now why don't you. Yes you sit with that for a while now while I calm myself with the vapours. Then we will see what kind of a mammary you are Xenu.

[ballsofxenu]

Whoa! Who are you?

You remind me of Xenu's first wife. She was a total bitch but at least she was hot.

You sound like you might have some dominatrix in you. Just what I like!

What do you look like? You into aliens?

[Kerry]

Oh ROFL! We've been had, almond. You've got mail.

[LadyXenu]

You're the one my husband has been chatting up. You are right about one thing for now. He presently has trash taste.

[Kerry]

Is that right toffy nose? From what little you've said I can kinda see where he could be coming from, so to speak. Did you run off with Ron, too? Is that why Xenu dumped you? You're really a no-good, smooth operator with faux airs and graces - well, take out the grace word. Is your vocabulary limited to a small series of one liners or are you just passing wind.

P.S. I don't answer PMs from strangers, even possible women. Have a nice day.

[Kerry]

Fitness is about hard work and feeling good, to my mind anyhow. So however you do it folks, for the inner or the outer you, get ready for the new year and put some of that good energy into the search for world peace.

Wishing everone a safe and happy New Year.